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For very long time, many people have been telling me, that I should work on my self-acceptance. And for very long time, I have been unable to understand how to accept myself without ignoring everything, and letting my negative parts to go wild. I thougt that it just doesn’t make sense – I need to improve myself and not just accept everything and let go. And absolutely nobody was able to explain it to me in the way to make me understand.
It seems, though, that during the pilgrimage, even previously insuperable obstacles are falling down the ground. I have already figured it out during the second day. And now I will tell you how.
I have realized, that in some things, I really push on myself too much. At same time, I am very careless in other matters. Frequently, I cause long-term suffering to myself just because certain moment of carefreeness. For example the 2nd day of the pilgrimage when it started snowing, I was somewhat disgusted by it, and for some period of time I have ignored the snow and didn’t put raincoat on backpack. I just didn’t care. The consequences – wet contents of backpack – I have been then sorting out the next day. And maybe it wouldn’t have to happen at all.
In the other hand, I have realized how much I push on myself sometimes. That also brings negative consequences afterwards. For example that 2nd day I wanted to get to the planned destination at any cost. But then I have realized what I actually have been doing: I have never experienced such weather on trip before. I am quite sure that if I just camped few days near Penicuik untill the bad weather stopped, I would spare myself of many headaches, and I wouldn’t miss anything.
And this, I think, is what some call as self-acceptance. It is about assessment of our possibilities in given situation, and then make such decisions, which will bring the best possible results in the long-term view.
It is very important, because if one pushes on them, then it doesn’t only cause unnecessary suffering, but it also brings such person into groups where they actually don’t belong. That brings another suffering, because man is often unknowingly encouraged in further self-torture – because what comes naturally for others, that is torment for that person. And such person is usually not very successful in the group anyway, commonly seen by others as weirdo, etc. A man always develops in fastest, best and most pleasant way when is where should be and doing what should be doing.